The Impact of Bystanders
There is no neutrality when it comes to being a bystander. I recently witnessed a girl yelling and shaking her finger at another girl in public in front of other girls. She felt she was justified; she felt she had caught the other girl doing something wrong; she wanted to make sure others knew and that there was a public apology. I overheard another girl say “I’m neutral. I’m not taking sides.” This was a form of ‘justified’ bullying and the bystander actually participated in the bullying by being neutral.
Bystanders are as responsible for bullying as the bully herself. Bullying demands an audience; girl relationship aggression requires support and compliance from others. Bullying would not exist in its strongest form were it not for the bystander. The victim perceives both the bully and the bystanders as against them, even though the bystander may profess to be neutral. The victim becomes even more isolated and more hurt when no one steps in to help.
There can be no neutrality from peers, from teachers, from parents, from schools when it comes to bullying. Studies show that if girls jump into the role of socially encouraged peacemaker during a bullying conflict, the bullying will continue. To defeat bullying, the position of bystander must be thoroughly examined and an active response by the bystander encouraged.
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